4.28.2011

Thursday, 28th day of April in the year 2k11....it was the usual. Met many nice young ladies last night, which was a blast...

Ever so much do I notice the excuses people come up with to help out their psyche, stretching a little or becoming imbalance for the sake of others is deep and selfless. Naked...in front of millions...pointing, laughing, ridiculing all your flaws...after that, "what is left?"...you become the strongest person in the room or vicinity...grasping the concept...POWERFUL. But most rather join with others who are clothed, guarded, hidden...things are more affluent when naked.

Music has always made me feel very naked...and open...in moments of ecstasy...flush of the skin, hardened of the nipples, glazing of the eyes, movement becoming fluid...breathing rapidly...realizing love is here...in the melodies, beats, vocals...true love...the gift of a musician is magical and very spiritual.

ADDICTIONS...come from disappointment of the human species...we, animals, humans...possess love...the evil negative notion is the villain...superhero, love...constant battle. Believing in people...their "good intentions" have been lost in our world (society)...flesh-like situations or possessions has the control...

THE CURSE or blessing...realizing this? Dreams...read into them...analyze them...that's the other side.

TO SELF:
Spread Positivity & Be Positive

4.26.2011

Today....lukewarm. Work was the usual grind and cool down. Went to an African dance class which was of course...AMAZING!

Mind was pretty relaxed and on chilled mode...NEW HIT: VIKTAR DUPLAIX...luv musique...

me...woman...flaws...beauty...feelings within...developing like anticipation...confidence is showing with every finger twitch, every movement of my shoulders, turn of my head, sway of my hip, flex in my back...hmmmmm, it feels good to be me...wo.man.

Moments notice.

TO SELF:
Spread Positivity & Be Positive

Hi Again...

Lately, I've been avoiding my blog/diary...because I kinda lost myself in the hoopla of other people's world...and trying to save everyone...and falling for a dream...which was the focus of my blog/diary for a long time...a long time....now that I have gather my thoughts due to less entertainment of the outside world....i.e. television..I have plenty of time to think through some of the decisions I've made this month, which were not in my own opinion..."educated", but we all make uneducated decisions..a.gain...learn from them and don't hit that repeat button. While away...in never never land....I realize a lot of people are lost, confused, and extremely passionate about being lost/confused....if that makes any sense...why is it always easy to say one thing and do another?...constant contradictions....realizing the problem, but are we taking the necessary steps to handle or implement the solution? Finding ways to point it out loudly...to take attention from self...self reflection a.gain is hard...and some may never grasp the concept...*ignorant bliss*...it feels good...just knowing and not acknowledging the "knowing"...but turning your head.

Other works, I've read...entertaining,yes...but also great inspiration/insightful advice that encourages me to continue the journey of self reflection...ADDICTIONS...should I make a list of ALL my addictions...well I'm not there yet, but I have realize what they are...now the decision sits with me to actually act on my findings...approval of myself...is what is really important...me, the mirror, vision of me...living with me...dying with me...so no approval from the outside world. Spending time with yourself can be a daunting task...conversations with yourself are more prevalent...laughs are ever increasing...things start to get cozy, until you realize a need for sharing or exploring...the world is an obstacle course...but a positive outlook on the course will get you to the end...never an end though.

Question I was asked recently....What is your most important role in life...and my answer was a "learner"...we are constantly growing and learning...the day that you believe you've learned everything...is the day that you have died.

TO SELF:
"Spread Positivity & Be Positive"

RT: "I get teary eyed every time I leave for work and have to say goodbye to my dog."

RT: "had a vision last night....need a reel to reel audio recording machine."

RT: "the sight of clouds in dark skies, so mystical and dreamy."