Love Shield

You know I love you
You don't know what Love is do you?
So now you run from Love
Though it's all you ever think of
Mistaking Money for Love
Honey for Love
You're always running from Love
Never rising above

After all the Games you play
You're walking on the edge again
It must be lonely
So lonely
Even after all you feel
You throw it all away for real
You got a Love Shield
Love Shield

So here we are
Heart to Heart
And so apart
What are you afraid of?
You're living in the Pain of Love

After all the Games you play
You're walking on the edge again
It must be lonely
So lonely
Even after all you feel
You throw it all away for real
You got a Love Shield
Love Shield

All the little things you couldn't control
When you were a little thing
And now you're old. . .
And Cold
Your Heart is Cold.
Confide in me
Come hide in me.
"Lay on my Breast
Relieve your Chest
And I'll do the rest"
Love is the best.
Hard to believe, it's all you need
I can't wait until you see. . .
You've got a Love Field
You've Love Field.

After all the Games you play
You're walking on the edge again
It must be lonely
So lonely.
Even after all you feel
You throw it all away for real
You got a Love Shield
Love Shield

5.8.2011

Mother's Day...I was so blessed to have two mothers...one may not have been the "traditional" mother, but she is my birth mom and I love her for being herself.My second mother means the world to me...the one who taught me everything I know today and still continues to teach me...a gift God sent to me at a time in my life that I needed her the most.

Just finished talking to her, and I feel a little defeated. She wants me to go to church...*sigh*...there is nothing wrong with church, but my faith/church aren't one in the same...my faith in GOD...has nothing to do with my attendance to church. 10% tithing was brought up...where was this said, in the bible...and who wrote the bible?..."man"...and some way, shape, or form...I will slowly conformed to writings in the bible, because I do believe in its "advices"...but just the thought of being forced to go to church seems a little elementary to me and takes away from the real reasons of worship. My faith is religious to some point, but its more spiritual. Faith lives within me...man can and will not falter my faith...LIVING POSITIVELY should be the way of life...because the bible says so should not be the reason...your soul should always seek the greater good in people.

Sometimes I conform to some of the advices in the bible, because let's face it, I was raised in the Baptist culture...I have told many people that, I don't want to have many partners before marrying my husband, because I feel like I'm taking from him the gift of his wife being pure and only for him...and then I was asked, what if your husband was once gay, on drugs, or had many partners? Would you still marry him and I said "no". This thought has sat with me since then...standards. Are standards and love two of the same? No...Then why do I put them together...if you don't meet my standards then I can't love you...does that sound like a person of love or positivity or growth or forgiving? No...Realizing this will probably save me from losing out on a gift given from God and I thank God for this realization.

The LIFE God has given us teaches us about unconditional love. Faith in God will get us through life using love, if only we could let the spirit of God (love)guide us.


TO SELF:
Spread Positivity & Be Positive

5.2.2011...5.3.2011

Late...just woke up...insomnia...sleep don't come easy...I think thoughts keep me up...will try to relax mind and head to sleep a.gain.

TO SELF:
Spread Positivity & Be Positive

5.1.2011...Vinyl

New vinyl!!!...lovely, weekend was a success...Hello May!...*CHEERS*

To Self:
Spread Positivity & Be Positive

4.28.2011

Thursday, 28th day of April in the year 2k11....it was the usual. Met many nice young ladies last night, which was a blast...

Ever so much do I notice the excuses people come up with to help out their psyche, stretching a little or becoming imbalance for the sake of others is deep and selfless. Naked...in front of millions...pointing, laughing, ridiculing all your flaws...after that, "what is left?"...you become the strongest person in the room or vicinity...grasping the concept...POWERFUL. But most rather join with others who are clothed, guarded, hidden...things are more affluent when naked.

Music has always made me feel very naked...and open...in moments of ecstasy...flush of the skin, hardened of the nipples, glazing of the eyes, movement becoming fluid...breathing rapidly...realizing love is here...in the melodies, beats, vocals...true love...the gift of a musician is magical and very spiritual.

ADDICTIONS...come from disappointment of the human species...we, animals, humans...possess love...the evil negative notion is the villain...superhero, love...constant battle. Believing in people...their "good intentions" have been lost in our world (society)...flesh-like situations or possessions has the control...

THE CURSE or blessing...realizing this? Dreams...read into them...analyze them...that's the other side.

TO SELF:
Spread Positivity & Be Positive

4.26.2011

Today....lukewarm. Work was the usual grind and cool down. Went to an African dance class which was of course...AMAZING!

Mind was pretty relaxed and on chilled mode...NEW HIT: VIKTAR DUPLAIX...luv musique...

me...woman...flaws...beauty...feelings within...developing like anticipation...confidence is showing with every finger twitch, every movement of my shoulders, turn of my head, sway of my hip, flex in my back...hmmmmm, it feels good to be me...wo.man.

Moments notice.

TO SELF:
Spread Positivity & Be Positive

Hi Again...

Lately, I've been avoiding my blog/diary...because I kinda lost myself in the hoopla of other people's world...and trying to save everyone...and falling for a dream...which was the focus of my blog/diary for a long time...a long time....now that I have gather my thoughts due to less entertainment of the outside world....i.e. television..I have plenty of time to think through some of the decisions I've made this month, which were not in my own opinion..."educated", but we all make uneducated decisions..a.gain...learn from them and don't hit that repeat button. While away...in never never land....I realize a lot of people are lost, confused, and extremely passionate about being lost/confused....if that makes any sense...why is it always easy to say one thing and do another?...constant contradictions....realizing the problem, but are we taking the necessary steps to handle or implement the solution? Finding ways to point it out loudly...to take attention from self...self reflection a.gain is hard...and some may never grasp the concept...*ignorant bliss*...it feels good...just knowing and not acknowledging the "knowing"...but turning your head.

Other works, I've read...entertaining,yes...but also great inspiration/insightful advice that encourages me to continue the journey of self reflection...ADDICTIONS...should I make a list of ALL my addictions...well I'm not there yet, but I have realize what they are...now the decision sits with me to actually act on my findings...approval of myself...is what is really important...me, the mirror, vision of me...living with me...dying with me...so no approval from the outside world. Spending time with yourself can be a daunting task...conversations with yourself are more prevalent...laughs are ever increasing...things start to get cozy, until you realize a need for sharing or exploring...the world is an obstacle course...but a positive outlook on the course will get you to the end...never an end though.

Question I was asked recently....What is your most important role in life...and my answer was a "learner"...we are constantly growing and learning...the day that you believe you've learned everything...is the day that you have died.

TO SELF:
"Spread Positivity & Be Positive"

RT: "I get teary eyed every time I leave for work and have to say goodbye to my dog."

RT: "had a vision last night....need a reel to reel audio recording machine."

RT: "the sight of clouds in dark skies, so mystical and dreamy."

RT: "outta this world, are you aliennnnnnn.....-Outkast"

RT: "did it.....6.2 miles, but did it help.....no...:-(..."

RT: "six miles.....let's get it.....hopefully this helps."

RT: "I've never been right since New Orleans.....what is love?....let's numb it...soon, I will forget about it."

RT: "I love Al Green"

RT: "going to do yoga by the beach....so excited"

RT: "even when it rains, its beautiful"

RT: "GHOSTBUSTERS!!!!!!"

RT: "just chill"

RT: "cuban breakfast sandwich and large cafe con leche on deck this morning"

RT: "totally private now, tomorrow is a new day....the show it must go on!"

Chapter closed....

So...this marks the closing of one chapter...I'm out! Thanks for the follows, but this is no longer my blog. So always, spread positivity and be positive....*muah*....*hugs* and much love people. Stay blessed!!!!!!

RT: "Today, marks the day of a falling king."

RT: "get busy!"

Monday!!!!!

Wow....another beautiful day.....going to attack Monday hard!

SN: I am feeling some sort of way this morning...

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

Steamdown...last night

Wow...so last night was interesting. Went to a house party...gorgeous house....creative and unique..love the houses in Miami, they're not cookie cutter....the landscape in the backyard around the pool was very lush...the people who were there, all artists.....poets....singers.....everything. Had a couple of friends over before the party to eat dinner....I cooked the "BOMB" steam down, which included crab legs and shrimp...and then the homemade salsa, OFF THE CHARTS!....can't wait until I buy property and host fabulous parties as well. Be easy.....

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

I Am Afraid

I am afraid

I am afraid that no one will compare

Moment of regret.......

RT: "I miss him.....a lot"

RT: "respectful?!.....lol"

RT: "when someone respects ur time, mind, and body.....that usually means they respect u."

Very Productive

So my day has been very productive and inspiring thus far....joined new mentoring organization, like really brand spanking new!!!! Very excited....got previous professor's letter of recommendation for school application....process is almost completed....now its time for the parties......two invites, maybe more as the day goes on....Barbancourt Rum, yes Haitian rum.....on deck, mojitos, homemade salsa & chips, and seafood steam down and then heading out for the night......

HAVE FUN!!!!!
*muah*

Check and check

Got a lot of things done so far this morning....busy busy busy....work week was busy, now the weekend?...lol. Busy=Good

Have a productive day!
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

All The Money in the World

....not a huge Rick Ross fan, but this new one with Raphael Saadiq is too dope! All the money in the world....wow. Love Raphael!...doing that cute swang....lol!

RT: "I think I've made up my mind....I'm ready."

Menu tonight....

Tonight on the menu....curry cabbage and baked fish....last night it was curry fish and turnips....southern girl mixed with Caribbean dishes...now I have to learn some Haitian dishes...cause they nice, real nice!....ahhhhhh! Life in Miami.

RT: "I need therapy to get over this!!!professional help, yes...flashback and no one compares."

Fun Night!

ANYWAYS.......
pic of me at Sunni Patterson's poetry reading....I know, smiling extremely hard, because I was blazed..lol

*muah*

Haha......

Man please.....the "heart" comes into play, I know that wasn't for me....so God bless that you actually feel something....if it was for me, MAN UP!!!!.....but if it wasn't (sad face).......congrats! It hurts...but it feels good at the same time. Haha...next time be very forward with her....then that heart of hers would not be split (secret: probably isn't split though...lol, you just have to realize you the 98%!!!!).....dudes are crazy! Aye man, like for real, good luck with that....stepping down from my soap box...

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

RT: "on default, just one of those days where I think......"

Good Night.....

Last night was a good night....Sunni Patterson......beautiful.....and Mishal Moore amazing talent!

RT: "Good Morning Miami!!!!!!!! Let's get it!"

Unknown...

This post.....listening to Theophilus London.....and I am inspired. ...........................................................................................................................................................................

We had.........................................................................................................................................


Damn..

It's a Secret...shhhhhh

Shhhhhhh....

Turning Cold...NO!

My prayer tonight will be about my heart.....I don't want to be cold and jaded. I am all about love, giving love, and receiving love. My life use to be so hard and God was there to bring me out of that pain and hurt and I know he will do it now. People are in pain everywhere and giving love is hard sometimes, because they're constantly thinking....I'll hurt them before they hurt me...in friendships as well. Constant battle, no peace. Just hard, life is just hard...and lonely sometimes, because I feel as though I'm light and people are constantly trying to blow out my light.

Goodnight....

Read This!

This is the new guy words.....now this is what I'm talking about......dating!!!!!

http://forums.projectcovo.com/showthread.php?t=3430871

It's a WRAP!....dude is crazy, really? He sent me this thread, thinking I was going to laugh about it...., he said that he didn't want to show me, because of what the other dudes were saying, but you know me and you were saying the worst!..... bitch this, bitch that......like seriously...we birth children, and dudes come off like this......makes me want to become a hermit and not deal....but not going to do that; I will put his ass in his place.

It makes no sense...ugh, I am so frustrated, like really? This is discouraging....no I'm not chill right now, because of the language that was used. The future looks mighty sad........Get This!!! I am still going to be respectful to him and make him realize that not every woman likes that sort of language. And then, that's it for him. Shutting doors left and right....I tried though, really I did.....he blew up over music being his life and it not being just inspiration.


Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

RT: "Don't look down!...feeling this!"

RT: "Christian Scott is amazing!!!...the whisper technique...am-a-zing!"

RT: "good morning Monday...its good to see you"

New Possibilities

Well, so there is someone new....and he has caught my attention. There has always been new ones, I just wasn't interested. But this person has definitely caught my attention. He is very attentive, thoughtful, and patient. Expresses himself very well, no word games here. Nothing sexual has even occurred, but the attraction is there. Cool to hang out with and talk too....I don't fight for attention either, he just gives it to me...and I do the same. Interesting person...great!!!!!He is interesting and in touch with himself...no self righteous shit going on and cockiness is not even an issue. Confidence is something that he definitely possesses...very cool dude. I feel like I've known him for a long time...that's how comfortable I am with him....and the laughs are plentiful.......great beginnings.

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

Sunday

*muah*

RT: "Idlewild on the menu for today."

Don't Deserve It

So I've been thinking....I would give it to you, but I don't think you deserve it. I've known you longer, but I'll give it to someone who cares about me, whom I just met. Someone who wouldn't expose my deepest secrets, insecurities, intimate noises....to his friends; just a sign that your immature. No trust is there, never has been, that's why I regret what happen in a sense. If we go there, I would never want to talk to you after. Friends (?) out of the question...friends would want to know what happen to you, I would ask them "who?"....because I would erase the whole experience from my mind. I wouldn't share the experience with anyone, because I would be ashamed. The first intimate moment, I don't regret so much, because I thought you were into me and wanted a future, but now I know straight up...you only want my body....and like I've said before.....Body=soul to me.

Beautiful experience before...because I felt it there...for you an act maybe? My poem was about the experience and how I appreciate the experience....not really how I feel about you as a person...your "qualifications" are decent, but you're tainted & cold in every sense.

"Let's laugh TOGETHER at these sorry ass niggas who don't compare...lol, u done yet? Me neither!".............which side are you on here?..lol, but listen, all of this to say...please stop.

You are not ready for me. Keep it moving. My poetry is a reflection.....there not mixed messages; its how I feel, but using them against me in a sense is not smart. Obviously, I have no room for players...only partners.

This is just me venting without any exclamation points, because I'm chill.

Alright, I'm out to this festival.


Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

83 Degrees

Its 83 Degrees today...I was chilling outside for a minute, bumping this Beastie Boys album:

And.......stopped by my favorite used bookstore....where I spent 15.00 on about 13 books...(That I might actually read).....later today, Spoken Soul Festival. Right now though....Brown Sugar babay!!!!!!love this flick.

RT: "beastie boys........DOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

RT: " comedy show tonight, should be fun!"

It's A New dAY!

Feeling good this morning! It's FRIDAY!!!! Weekend baby.....I need a weekend off though(too much going on in life)...lol, but not this one unfortunately.

Have a productive day!...Really try
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

RT: "the "one" guy doesn't pay me any attention, in the meantime I'm breaking hearts for what?!*sniffs*"

RT: "at Art Americas....enjoying myself so far."

RT: "did I ever mentioned, that I hurt when anyone in my family hurt? Encourage your loved ones...."

RT: "shhhhhhhh for love.....lol"

His Words

This song is too dope...me likey.

RT: "listening to Billie Holiday's.....Strange Fruit....beautiful"

RT: "busy day, but I feel good!"

LOL Together!

Let's laugh TOGETHER at these sorry ass niggas who don't compare...lol, u done yet? Me neither!.......

Sharon Jones & I

Here's the picture of Sharon Jones and I:

The official female version of James Brown!

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

RT: "I hate allergy season!!!!!!!!!!"

Today

....this morning is proving to be very interesting.


Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

WE'RE CLOSED!

Not posting today...closed due to the "hi-bi-gibees".....ugh!

*muah (from a distant)*

RT: "last night was amazing!!!!!...still smiling about it! Hell, whole weekend was dope!"

Sharon Jones/ the Dap Kings

OMG!!!!I had an amazing night.....Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings were awesome!!!!! What made the night even better was that I was asked to go on stage and dance....and guess what? I DID!!!! I ripped it!!!! *smiling as I type*.........man, this was a night to remember...now I'm known as the girl who ripped it on stage with Sharon Jones!!!! Pic of me and her to come.....

I'm tired...goodnight

*muah* & hugs

Quickie

Okay, real quick...just came back from a friend's birthday party, which was awesome...now on to a concert...SHARON JONES & THE DAP KINGS!!!!!!...whew...this is how I feel today:

Maybe, I'll get to see L Boogie in concert, still up in the air.

PEACE
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

SN: You know I love you!...lol

RT: "you either hate it or embrace it and I chose to embrace it and now I love it....Miami"

Drum Circle!!!!

Beautiful night....the moon was so bright and the reflection off the water was amazingly bright...............then it got crazy......drummers and fire dancers were possessed .....drinks were flowing and then BOOM!!!!! Cops closed down the party! In car, driving in Bal Harbour, RED LIGHTS, BLUE LIGHTS, yes, I was pulled over... but guess what, I drove away with a 10.00 ticket...what! What!...I swear it was the smile. Definitely will put up footage, but right now, I am recovering....

Have a nice SunDay!I think this is a beach day.

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

RT: "in little havana instead of liquor stores on every corner, there are coffee shops...lol"

Halfway.....

Soooo, I have already worked out, which was insane and went to an estate sale that was very chaotic...next?.....DRUM CIRCLE @ the beach!!!!!!!

Oh, because I didn't post this yesterday, I will do today.....

Can't wait to read my first book in this chair!

Dope, RIGHT?!

Friday was jean and red boots day!

I found this chair next to the dumpster at work...lol, YES!..someone was going to throw this beauty away...lol...my co-worker was not happy with me taking this chair from the trash and putting it into our warehouse at work....she said I was rat pack..whatevs!!!!

NAP TIME!!!!!

*muah*

LET'S DO IT!!!!

Got a list of things I'm doing today...so early start...damn, it is so BEAUTIFUL here!! AHHHH, excited, excited, excited!!!!!



Be Productive
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

DJ Lo Down Loretta Brown

This is why I am in utter awe of Ms.Erykah Badu!!!!!




SUCH INSPIRATION!!!!

RT: "when niggas turn into gods....walls come tumbling down"....Erykah Badu

RT: "things I can't explain with sub text....."

RT: "sugar gotta long way to catch you...you so sweet!"....Erykah Badu

AFro!!!

Well, I had a great time for Saint Patty's Day, had a couple of drinks and socialized a bit (early night...I'm tired!).....got a lot of looks, because I was rocking my fro....a lot of compliments and love. I fell in love with this group a long time ago and they still jam!!!...BRAZILIAN GIRLS!!!!!! Alright, goodnight and enjoy the selection of music.








*muah* & hugs

*Secret Admirer *

So I start my day like any other day......wake up and walk my dog, so when I was approaching the lobby, my property manager walks up to me and a hands me this note. I looked at her and she says, "just read it and tell me what you think"...so I quickly stuff it in my pocket, thinking like awww damn it!!!! Fatal attraction type situation...lol, I know I'm a crazy thinker, paranoia is a bitch!!!! So I walk my dog and came back to my apartment and finally read the note. It basically says that someone in my apartment building is attracted to me and would like to get to know me better....WHAT!!!!, how cute is this? So I will sit on this and then decide if I should move forward.

SN: He lives in one of the penthouses here....wooooohoo!!!!Interesting..lol

UPDATE: THIS IS NOW OFFICIALLY GETTING A LITTLE WEIRD AND PYSCHO-ISH...LOL!!!!

Have a productive day!
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

Fighter

Alright, the events of today were a little draining, so I had to take a nap. Answers to a lot questions answered after wavering thoughts for a long time, may not be what I was expecting, but I got it and it feels good. Moving along is what I'll do and continue to do with the same message I speak every day and even in my sleep...POSITIVITY. Best days of my life, cherishing them. Literally, GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS!...unbelievable. Some exciting events are coming up and I'm trying to hold on, it feels like my life is getting busier than usual. Application to school and Peace Corps are well underway, journey I spoke about in an earlier post....I think I'm ready for the change. I'm truly blessed...*looking out my sliding door at the highway, watching cars go by (as if life continues)*.....Wishing every one the best, even the ill mannered, because it is what I do....damn homie, here is an internet hug (breath in and exhale out *like how Martin would do on his show*)...things will get better for you, just pray. Why Even Try?...not feeling like that anymore, because I will continue to try...just venting then. I still believe in things that the regular population consider overrated or fairy tale....don't lose the dreams people, they fuel our reality. This blog is for venting moments as well as reflection of those venting moments....lol, sometimes random...if you think about it "our" lives are full of random moments that turn into memories. Calculated moves really never happen the way you calculated, because random shit changes them.

- You ever wonder why people portray their lives using music?....Let's consider music as a blog...someone's life experience that they're reflecting upon, that is not the life you have to live. Don't be influence by music...BE INSPIRED....see another random thought....have them often.

- Read that first paragraph again (full of run on sentences and incomplete thoughts)...and realize these are words of a fighter. I fight with negativity..not people, I love people...hope for the people.

RT: "get that ass ready"......lol, really?

WOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!

Wooowwwww! That is all....aww man, life is crazy. Have to admit, I feel a lot better.

RT: "it's really sad because women are great! But one day you have to grow up, ya know? Life is not always HS!".......the bess said it best!...lol

Younger Generation

So I am talking to one of my long time friends....(10 years to be exact) and we are catching up. Its funny because we are talking about our dating experiences......she is currently dating someone much older than her whom she is happy with....and I am literally salivating because it sounds awesome. GOSHHHHH!!!!!!!! Move forward please!!!!!!!!....sorry for the scream, but damn it!!! It's just so frustrating...stop being in love with your friends and be in love with me MORE...because I am the one who will give you the "na na", not only that, love and security...once your boys find that GOOD GOOOD, please believe..that you will be put on the back burner!

Whewww!!!!!! Like wake up, really?! Stop believing that you are the only guy I want!

That is All!

*muah*

RT: "Welcome Miami Seatrade....polo(s) and khakis on deck!"

Sunni Patterson

Wow...where was I, really? Will see her in person later in the month, so I researched and I found a treasure. Favorite by far:




I hope that one day, my poetry will be this and more.

SN: "my spirit don't speak no English"......."can you stay until tomorrow, at least until the sun set"

Like for real....DOPE!

RT: "God gives us visions not just to see them, but be them".....wow, where was I....Sunni Patterson

Good Day

TODAY...was a good day! Weather was really nice, walked my dog for a long time and took a different route. Life is almost perfect.....realize that I must start back painting, because constantly I live in the "purple" world...what does that mean...look up the meaning behind purple or people who like purple...fantasy world over reality. Look at the view:

LOVE IT!!!!!! <3
Frankie Beverly & Maze in the background...I can't get over youuuuuuuuu!!!!!...lol, terrible.
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

RT: "must enforce positivity while driving"

Life is Funny

I had the best time last night!!!...met some really nice people and enjoyed the arts from music to visual arts. Made some contacts, might do an open mic night, just have to check out the venue first. Miami is such a diverse place, like its not part of the United States. I love it here, and the people are colorful.

In the middle of my exhaustion today, I was thinking a lot about a "situation" that keeps reoccurring in my life. I have to stop this situation from reoccurring....realizing its not going the way I was hoping, because the agendas aren't congruent.

CONVERSATION I WOULD HAVE WITH THE PERSON:

Property....does it mean, you mark your territory and now I'm yours....that is not the case. Contact me when you feel like it....one to three months to six months.....later in the middle of the night, is not respectful or considerate. Me texting you while talking to someone new is not a good look for me. Your agenda is not clear or trustworthy....me being comfortable with you in our "moment" was because I wanted to be comfortable for the possibility that it could grow into something beautiful...obviously it's not going anywhere. In my nice tone of voice.....LEAVE ME ALONE......stop with the texts and let's just be Facebook friends. 

This is me, being totally honest. This vision is hard for me to come to terms with, but in order for me to get back control of this situation, I must take control of myself first. Eight years with someone who was full of bullshit is not the interlude for more bullshit.

Bad intentions, GET LOST!

Love yourself........
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

RT: "is it love, lust, or like?....2nd one, maybe?..."

Miami Weather

Sunny with gray skies.....still beautiful.

Food....Wine...Art....Music

Tonight, the possibilities...going to enjoy some cuisine, great wine or spirits, check out some new artists....and dance the night away to some beats. Hope you guys have a great night as well!!!!!

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

*CharacteRIzed*

Interesting?...lol, will the "interesting" people ever be considered part of the general public? Or will they ("we") be watched and characterized? Like are they ("we") personality traits? Adjectives?...something apart from realty? Never will know.....they ("we") can just be happy living the lives that they ("we")choose to live. Is happiness already here for the "interesting" people and the rest are in the pursuit of it?

*SMILESSSSSSSSS*

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

RT: "can't believe I fell into that trap!!!!.....lol, I guess I'm taking one for the team."

RT: "I don't like this feeling, DAMN IT!!!!!....mind work with my intentions!"

Thought of the Morning

Reaching for something higher, can't quite catch it, but to everyone you look imbalance (not stable)...while they stand balanced not reaching for something better, but yet content where they are currently....looking at you with ridicule.

I feel the air below building....yes!!!



Keep Japan in your prayers, only brighter days ahead for them!
Be Productive!!!
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah* & hugs

RT: "God, 1st, thank u....2nd, I need more sleep....still tired."

RT: " I swear no one can touch my happiness, negativity just rolls off my back.....those left behind, watch me fly"

RT: "thought I had to run a 5k tomorrow morning, it has been changed to April 30th...THANK U GOD!!!!!!!

Why Even Try?

This is how I feel...not like me..true...but instead of being in love, I can give love.



*muah*

Falling

The truth is
I fell hard
Not the kind of fall
Where you land on a hand
And then the rest of your body follow
No
It was the kind of fall
Where I was hoping I took flight
Law of gravity set in
Each inch closer to the gravel
Release of tension
Relaxation of body
Love inhale in
Exhalation of fears
Hell...what world was I in?

THUD!
Collision of body & gravel
Thought of the fall
Now regretting it all
Pain is what I'm feeling
That air I can't gain back
That feeling, I can't reverse that
Soreness of the fall is what I have
To cherish

Getting back up and realizing
I can't fall like that again.

RT: "Miami...I love u, I really missed u while away in New Orleans."

New Orleans...

The best weekend (slash week) ever!!!!!!!!!....many good memories now are being treasured and filed. There were some moments of regrets, but nothing that will break my spirit.

+ SN: "Revenge is not good for the soul....it only leads to pain."

+ Dreams of you are now nightmares........

Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

RT: "next poem will be titled....cookie monster....lol, no seriously."

RT: "life goes on".......

WHOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!

It's the weekend!!!!! Mardi Gras baby!...living in bliss right now.

RT: "just heard some great news....my cousin is pregnant with her 3rd child, whoo hoo!"

Drinking & Drawing

I had fun at this event called.....Drinking & Drawing....yup people, I was drinking....no judging...lol...Great times!

RT: "feel so bad that I'm crying, because I forgot my friend's birthday :-(........."

Random Thought of the Day

Old man...no...old fashioned...yes

My Mood

So unfortunately I'm not spreading positivity directly, but there can be an indirect positive message behind this post.

Well...when I was younger I used to have this dream of the world being in flames and no safe haven, well I feel like that today. The comfortable places I know of are far away and I'm afraid of what I left behind and what I might see in the future. Change is hard...not because of you, but other people trying to stop the progress. Me, I want everyone to change with me in a positive way, but that is not always the case. I want to surround myself with people who brings out the best in me, not the worst. It's like a wind storm, the wind pushing you in the opposite direction...what can I say, tomorrow is a new day!

And I will make a least one person smile.

*muah*

RT: "BJ, Costco, and Sam's club shoppers are ridiculous, 3 boxes of 285 Q tips is unnecessary!"

RT: "awww man...this morning is real nice...good vibes, good day"

Remember Nelly?......

RT: "PBS is the best!"

Oh Dude!

Here is the scenario:

Dude ask me out on a date...cool, but get this, the place he chose was having ladies' night (where women drink free) and he proceeds to tell me the logic behind choosing this place....it's because I can get free drinks for him too. Laughing out loud, really?

I'm not rude and consider myself to be really nice. So why must I encounter guys like this? Okay...enough, positive thoughts.

Have a good day!
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

Feelin' This......

Perfect for tonight:

RT: "laughing @ the fact that I keep empty wine bottles (for flowers) and glass jars for just about anything"

RT: "my dog wakes me up "every" morning around this time!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!"

RT: "I just looked at my toes and remembered that someone said I have Tamia (the singer) toes...lol, they look like fingers."

Today

Felt like this "all" today.

Ahead...China

China is ahead of the world.......light years ahead.

Fun!

After two falls and two blisters.......I had so much fun at the roller rink...I still got some moves, but was quickly humbled by my two falls, which I laughed until it hurt, because it literally hurt. Times like these I enjoy...now bed time...I'm pretty sure my body will be screaming tomorrow.

SN: I believe I got the fall on camera too...lol, good times.

Peace
Spread Positivity & Be Positive
*muah*

New...

"Why am I so curious?
This territory is dangerous
I'll probably end up at the start
..........
New, you're so new"

No Doubt is in the house!!!!!!!

Sooo, I am trying something new with my hair...hmmm...so far, thumbs up!

RT: "HOUSE!!!!!!, luuuuuv this show!"

RT: "smell of pancakes and Al green playing in the background...lovely"

She's getting older

My baby has long whiskers now....that means she is getting older....I hate to think I will loose her one day, but for now we'll have all the fun we can handle!

Infomercials

I am seriously thinking about buying the Dean Martin variety show DVDs right now....9.95, seriously you can't beat that, he is a funny guy, right up there with Bill Cosby!...lol, I swear sometimes I'm an old woman trapped in a young woman's body...1920s-1970s, would have been my ideal years.

RT: "letter from my cousin in prison...on the right, fell off somehow..."

Its the WEEKEND BABY!!!!

RT: "just got the best records ever!!!! Al Green, Frankie Beverly & Maze, Luther and many more!!! This weekend is looking mighty nice. Not to mention, I picked up the new Cee Lo cd *amazing*..."

Exhausted Part II.....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Exhausted.....

zzzzzzz

Say Sumthin'

Pure Dope-ness....seriously *serious face*

Esperanza Spalding!!!!!!!!!

She won a Grammy...well deserved, well deserved. When I met her, she was such a sweetheart. Post here.

Valentine's Day

In Simpler Times

I talk to myself

People think I am on my phone
In simpler days
I would have been considered strange
People would feel sorry
For me
And called me Crazy
I would have walked down the street
Carrying brown paper bags
Arguing laughing sometimes
Humming a tune

I am alone
At the kitchen sink
Or behind the wheel
Of my car
Taking the roasted chicken
With root vegetables out of the oven
It's easy to see
The delight I am taking
In this life

I am always smiling

I am in love

This poem is by Nikki Giovanni, the poet who dances with words like no other.

If you are spending Valentine's day by yourself, don't fret...love yourself ...no drinking, singing sad songs, being desperate, and wallowing in sorrow....go out and do something fun by yourself, make someone smile, or hang out with some of your single friends. Life is way too short....

SN: Be happy for those who have found love!

Spread Positivity & Be positive
*muah* and *hugs*

RT: "I swear, "the color purple", makes me cry every time.....such a big baby...lol"

Tonight

Saturday night...at home..and it feels mighty good!

SN:Blind date...thumbs down!...lol

Volunteering

Volunteered early today it was fun and confusing (lol)...but I had plenty fun, left before everyone started to drink and act insane. Vatican Splendors tomorrow, love volunteering for this particular exhibit...absolutely gorgeous.

Peace
Spread Positivity & Be positive
*muah*

PSA...Happiness

"Internal happiness, no one can take that away from you."

-Nikki Jean


Have a wonderful and productive day!
Spread Positivity & Be positive
*Muah*

Day 1

Today, I start on my sober journey....no more drinking for the rest of my life. Just my preference, nothing trigger this.....just want to experience events sober...without celebrating with alcohol. So Mardi Gras, St. Pattys weekend, and weekends will be a challenge, but I'm up for it. Have a nice, blessed, and sober day.

Spread Positivity!
Be Positive
*muah*

Gone Baby

Realest song off of her album...the beat is crazy funky!

Erykah Badu - Gone Baby, Don't be Long from beeple on Vimeo.

DOPE!!!!!Straight up innovative.

Sore City!

I just had the most amazing African dance class!!!!!!! So much fun.,....I can't feel my butt...lol.

Love Her...

Nikki Jean is an amazing, beautiful, talented, and positive person.....she's cool people!

Roll Bounce

Woohooo, party over here.....I have not been roller skating in a minute!!!! I am so excited about a party that I've just been invited to, where I will test my "skills"out.....getting my skates out now, polishing the wheels....*smirk*...thinking about the gear too. OH this is so exciting!!!!!!!

Bounce!!!
roooooooooooooock
skate
Rooooooooooooollll
Bounce!

Peace!!!!!!!*muah*

My First

Holy crazzzzaaaap.....I have officially been set up on a blind date!!!!! Right now, all I'm thinking is AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!.....but it can't be that bad, right? I've only communicated with him through email, which was okay, it seems he has a good sense of humor and that is definitely a plus. What will we talk about????? Hopefully he has interest in the arts, music.....basically everything creative. I have to keep telling myself to chill.....so chill.

+ Any who, pretty soon I will start another addition to this blog, which will be chronicling my experiences here in Miami. Pictures of events I go to for free or a small fee. Things to do creative on the weekend. Meetup groups to join if you've just moved here....and etc....Pretty interesting stuff. Pictures at first will be a little weak and then improve once I get a new camera. This blog is literally a diary, but my other blog, "Words"...is my poetry and the new one will be more of a what to do in Miami blog, which I will include on my personal business cards.

So hopefully your weekend is going swell...until next time....*muah*
Spread Positivity

RT: "please help....I can't stop watching episodes of House!"

Rebooting

Trying to get myself together from last night...had a ball, met some interesting people.

Caption THIS?..lol

Free booze & food...and beautiful art & people..

Retreating to Shell

No one ever gets me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like I say something and people are like "what?"......nevermind....silence is better.

Stone Face

Just thinking and it usually ends in a laugh, I swear people think they are so strong...because they show no emotions....but I believe people who show emotions are much stronger than those who hide. I was just watching a you tube video where basically there were two girls discussing the dos and don'ts for guys when dating women. Some points were valid, but they sound so harsh and dry, like they were trying to be robots. I think its alright for people in general, not a male or female standard, but people in general to show emotion, feel SOMETHING!!!!*rolling eyes* Funny.....if you look at the older generation, they are so emotional and passionate, don't confuse passion with anger, which many people do today....but genuine passion. Showing emotion through different avenues is an art.....whether it be cooking, cleaning, painting, dancing, singing, walking, talking, staring....whatever......


+ The best asset to me on a person, is their smile, because it welcomes everyone...you have an innate connection when this occurs.

+ Dreams to me are always fascinating, like actual dreams not the ones we make for ourselves, but ones we dream while sleeping....they tell you a lot about yourself and they're never clear, because life is never a clear picture.

okay, I'm done..goodnight

Bench Players

Thanks to one of my friends, I revisited this song.....taking players off the bench....

+ Today I went to an event that was showcasing African American artists' work and I met some insightful elderly individuals, who wanted me to understand that I must give back to our community, become successful, and break out of my shell....OH, and not to mention the constant push for me to "speak" to the artists there or take business cards from some of the eligible bachelors, which of course I kept politely declining.....but it definitely has me thinking...what in the hell am I waiting for? really.....the process of finding me is well underway...I don't know if I'm ready to add another person to my love fest with myself. Not to mention I had a couple of hiccups and EMBARRASSING moments involving a couple of innocent bystanders....but obviously God put them there for a reason, which I believe was a lesson of patience and humbleness. I guess life is always teaching us not to take ourselves too seriously. If you put yourself out there, its okay if some people decline, because sometimes they're not ready for all that you bring or you need to take a closer look at yourself.





Until next time....*muah*
Spread Positivity and Be Positive
...peace

RT: "there's a shortage of o.b. tampons....people are selling them on ebay for $50, REALLY!...lol"

RT: "I am in desperate need of some cafe con leche y colada, yes I'm addicted."

Again...

Tripping out over Mos Def....my favorite lyricists.

your words
oh so very clever
whatever
Its just so tight
how the words
flow from ya mouth
into tha crowds
loud

sending vibrations
of pure
sounds, oh so right
genius
how the very meaning
of tha words
fit like a glove


just flowing to how I feel when I listen to "ANY" thing Mos Def does.

RT: "gutter rainbows", gotta get that record.

Cold War

This song is unbelievable....my first time hearing it was a month ago and tears burned my face. Her video is just an unedited video of her singing to the camera...which in my opinion is strong and fearless. This song is my anthem for life...I tell close ones everyday or when they need to hear it, that "remember we will die by ourselves, so why must our lives be dictated by others?"

The love GOD have is amazing....it sees no color, gender, sex, class, even religion. Some people take the lives of others or take their lives because they are afraid...fear of being who they are....fear, fear, fear.......taking a moment.

I told my friend today, that I believe everyone just need a hug...its like we are in pain. Grieving the death of ourselves.

This is a cold war, you better know what you're *FIGHTING* for.

Oh Ella!

A woman of grace...I feel pretty listening to her music. Slow dancing...maybe the waltz? Oh so pretty!

Menu Today

What was on the menu today.....

1) Race relations
2) Religion
3) Love, ofcourse!
4) Money management

And my job has nothing to do with any of the above (except money management...lol) or do it? "Understanding" ...where I've come from, is far from where I am..and believe it or not, I continue "forward" movement. Make sure history is a lesson not a burden.

I had a good day at work :-).

Peace
Spread Positivity
*muah*

Discovering...

Everyday.....my appreciation for my body continues to grow...its like I find something new about my body that's extraordinary and its amazing that most of the time my so called flaws are at the fore front of this thought.


....ME!

Spread Positivity
*muah*

On the religion tip.....

"the invisible will become visible"

Listening to Christian..

Christian Scott, music speaks to me......especially this song. The "new" jazz era.

RT: "when we believe we have it rough.......God shows us it could be worst."

RT: "participate in "life in a day"!"

Boasting!

DROP THAT BEAT!!!

I hate to brag
I hate to boast
but I'm like hot butter
On your breakfast toast.....

I can throw down in the kitchen! If I continue to cook like this, it's inevitable that I will gain too much weight....lol.

Peace!

RT: "good intentions...understandable....Love & Peace..no war."

RT: "god has a sense of humor, you can even say that he is comedian."

Favorite Joint

Favorite Mos Def Joint

Lady in the Brown Dress

...aka Lucky, lol...obviously bored...

RT: "watching sex and the city.....how can some women sleep with so many men?"

RT: "libraries and bookstores are the devil.....people go to socialize not read....didn't get that memo."

RT: "heart races when I'm not sure and can't define it"

Really Random

Was looking in the mirror (not vain, just brushing my teeth..lol) and realize a thought. We are always trying to define things, situations, people...never letting it just be...the more someone or it gives, it becomes less interesting. Holding your identity is powerful. Once you give too much in a situation, people lose interest, believe me, I know from experience...Give, give, give...once this happens...people begin to mold you, so that you can become more interesting...not a good look.

If people can just be...flaws and all (cliche)...expectations would definitely be realistic and these type of situations of giving too much and not receiving the same in return would not happen.

I believe this is why realty television is huge!!!When watching these shows...whats the first thing you tend to do...try and relate to the individuals, which helps you live through them. Really? In "REALTY", they're just characters. Media plays on your insecurities...its crazy...

Anyways. Let me be.


Be yourself.....
Spread Positivity
*Muah*

RT: "give and get nothing in return"

Choice of Music Tonight

RT: "my doggie next to the tub wishing she was human.....I told her that...sometimes I wish I was a dog.....bath is fab!...lol"

Thursday Night....

My Thursday night consists of:

- Bubble bath
- Book
- Merlot
- Relaxation

Happy Thursday, people!!!!

Spread positivity!
*muah*

RT: "why am I always digging....investigator"

Haunted.....

Lately, I have been haunted by an idea or let's say a thought.

My words are carefully chosen.....

I can't decide if its an impulsive (obsessive) thought or if this is something I must pay attention to.......

For the past two weeks, its heavy, I mean HEAVY on my mind. I don't know what to do with it...is it that I haven't occupied my mind with any other thoughts and continually revert back to this thought, because let's be real, its amazing..but its not healthy. Praying...seriously praying to God, to make me understand this "head" game.

Haunted....

SN: pure thought.....I try hard to listen to what's happening up there (referring to brain), so that I can channel my thoughts to a positive outlook.

Spread Positivity
*muah*

RT: " mos def...."

*Smile*

Something has made me smile...tremendously hard.

RT: " my driving makes some nervous and afraid..lol"

RT: "wished things played out differently...obsessive thinking is painful, it hurts."

3rd Time's A Charm

Got my nose pierced for the 3rd time...next is a septum piercing...

Before

After...lol

RT: " 90 teens pregnant @ memphis high school, gay black men, what if your teen told you they were gay....(Insert happy tune)...lol, Michael Baisden kills me"

RT: "MLK Day: we must remember as purpose for growth, not burden."

J.Davey ...."dope-ness"

One word..."dope-ness".....music that speaks for itself.

Interesting

The promotion of positivity is important, speaking on a negative subject is some form of promoting the negative subject. Promoting positivity buffers negative energy...causing the negativity to loose its power. "Spread positivity" is not just a statement I use for valediction, but a belief. Right or wrong, is not the issue, but understanding is the task.

Spread Positivity *muah*

RT:"I can't stop laughing...let's celebrate MLK day with chicken, kool-aid, watermelon....lol, really now."

RT: "I'm a loner in a world of clones."

To Understand

Wow...I was just inspired to write this post.

As people, we need to get over physical appearances and what we view the world mentally. We all have a different train of thought or thought process, appreciate that. We are not robots who think a like , look alike, react alike.....don't let outside influences control this. Separating each other because of color, sex, religion..only weakens us....realize that we are one on the same level and no better than the next man can strengthen us. God is of love, not something that we can materialize with our thoughts....trying to understand this is difficult and I may never reach a point of understanding, but die trying is better than not trying at all.

Everything that I do is out of love. Being appreciative of other people's ideas has helped me a great deal. Understanding the fact that I don't know anything and am willing to listen to many who do know some things.....that's a blessing. It's easy to hang with people who think the same way as ourselves.....comfortable and complacency. To write off people because they have a train of thought that you don't agree with....comfortable and complacent. If you stop and listen and try to understand and offer what you have been taught out of love.....this world, my god, would be a different place.

Die trying is better than not trying at all.

Another one

Today is such a beautiful day. Door is open and I'm having some fantastic coffee. Incense going...I feel blessed, everyday.

+ Heading out soon for some apartment shopping and a little clothes shopping. Mentally preparing myself for the crowds of people I will encounter.

+ Not really a breakfast eater, so for brunch I will make some pancakes with cooked blueberries and raspberries...hmmmm, sounds good.

Until next time..peace *muah*

RT: "the green makes me relax."

Bored....

Mind wonders....

What?!

RT: So I was just walking my dog as I hear this approaching vehicle...I turn to see a mail truck and then it suddenly stops. I look with anticipation...I notice a figure jumps out and looks at me...now realizing its a dude....he asks, "do you know where spring gardens is located?"....I reply "I have no idea, sorry" and then he replies "no idea?"...and I say "no" and then he proceeds to tell me that my eyes are beautiful, now in my mind, I'm thinking, how the hell can he see my eyes, we aren't even that close...and he ends his statement by saying "50 feet away"....wow, "your eyes are beautiful, 50 feet away". *side eye*

Is it Friday yet?

Oh, I can not wait til the sun rises again.....

Ayiti

Today, marks the day of pain and grief for the people of Ayiti.....

Haiti is a country of revolution and perseverance , as the first country to be ruled by Africans, it's a country of strength. While living here in Miami, I have become encouraged by the culture of Haiti...the people, food, music, and etc. When the earthquake happened, it felt as if South Florida was hit, because so many people here are an extension of Haiti. It was definitely a day of.............sorrow.

This post is a dedication to all of those who lost their lives in the earthquake at 4:53pm on January 12th, 2010.

Late...I know

New Year's Day I made a delicious brunch...on the menu:

- Cooked apples
- Biscuits
- Fresh Fruit
- Green juice
- Orange juice
- And....Andre's of course, so mimosas were flowing

Hope you have a wonderful day!!!...enjoy the pics.

RT: "I'm getting there, slowly but surely..."

RT: " the art of listening....take notes."

BLOW THE WHISTLE!

Man....I know this is pure ignorance......but the first part of this year (January through March).....my theme song is BLOW THE WHISTLE! by Too Short. Theme song?...yes every year for three month increments, I have a theme song..(take notes).

+ Sooo, it's a new year PEOPLE,  resolutions are flowing and full of hope/denial...lol. Resolutions for me are internal, so shhhhhhh, its a secret, only those who are close will know.....nah I won't even tell.

+ You ever had a thought that you internalized....and every time you thought about it, it made you smile, cry, or get angry. Weird, I know, gotta let it go! Still in progress and I definitely see progression.

SN: + = change of thought

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Why in the fuck am I still up?...lol, passed out shortly after the new year....soooo, Happy New Years and I have a feeling that really this year, is my year. Now, I must prepare breakfast for my lovely people. PEACE!!!!!